"No Man Wants To Marry Me, Should I Adopt And Raise Child Alone As Single Mum?": Expert Advises

• A confused young lady is seeking advice on a delicate matter, asking if she should adopt a child or not
• The heartbroken lady noted she is 30-years-old and claims no man wants to marry her after being in a series of relationships
• Relationship and family expert Jane Murimi Mugo told TUKO.co.ke that the lady should take her time before making her final decision

Anonymous wrote:

"I am 30 years old. I have had a series of bad luck in relationships. There was this guy with whom we became very good friends. We used to hang out together and most times, people would see us together. They thought we were dating. I thought we were dating. We happened to be very close that I would sleep at his home. We never concluded we were an item. One day, I confronted him about our relationship, and he told me we were not dating. He said he was not interested in a relationship with me. That broke me. I went on to have other relationships with other guys, but none was solid or materialised to lead to marriage. I need to have a child and move on with life because no one wants to be with me. Should I adopt? Please advise.

Jane Murimi Mugo is a qualified relationship and marriage expert with over 12 years of experience in counselling. She is a published author of Caged and is working on another mental health book.

Mugo felt sorry for the young lady who seemed to have invested much in the relationship but did not have a future.

She noted the lady did not define the relationship between her and her male friend.

"She should have asked questions and not assumed something that was not there. I can also blame the guy for not being upfront with her. Maybe he gave her all the signs that insinuated his interest in her, but he was not. However, both are to be blamed and should take responsibility," she noted.

The expert highlighted that the bitter truth from the man was detrimental to the lady, who could not sustain the other relationships she had later.

Mugo urges woman to practice self-love

Mugo asserted that the woman got into a relationship to heal from the emotional wound formed after what she had been through.

"I think she did not have time to heal. Those relationships seemed to rebound, and they barely work. I feel for her if she may have pushed Mr Right away because she was still nursing the wounds of the past while working on the new relationship. It is like putting old wine in a new wine bottle. The bottle will burst.

I would advise her to love herself first. Self-love solves a lot. She's 30 and pretty. We can't conclude she's too old. Let her focus on her life and her ambitions. A certain man is waiting for such a lady. Adopting a kid with that mentality of " no man wants me" may strain the relationship between her and the adopted child," Mugo pointed out.

Relationship expert Mugo advocates soul-searching

Mugo advised her not to succumb to social media or peer pressure and that she should be stable, married, and have a child by a certain age.

She urged her to take her time to readjust, reset and refocus on herself before making another life-changing step.

"She should be followed, not following. Let her know she's priceless. Never show a man that you need them so much. She needs to do soul-searching first, know what she wants, and then pursue it. I am sure she has not decided, which is good. She needs to be conscious and sober. Otherwise, she may ruin her and the kid's life in the future because of selfish motives," Mugo added.

Disclaimer: The advice in this article is general and does not reflect the views of TUKO.co.ke. It is not intended to influence a reader's decisions. Readers are advised to seek professional help before making any decisions.

Do you have a story to tell? Want an expert's advice? Please email us at askanexpert@tuko.co.ke with the subject line 'Ask an expert'.

Man confused as stepson wants to see biological dad

Separately, a man was in a dilemma that could sabotage his relationship with his stepson.

He said his stepson wanted to meet his biological father, but the man was not sure if he should allow it.

Speaking to TUKO.co.ke, family expert Jane Murimi Mugo advised the stepdad not to stand in the way of the young boy.

Proofreading by Asher Omondi, current affairs journalist and copy editor at TUKO.co.ke.