Michael Oyier: TBT Clip Of Late Journalist Talking About Battle With Depression, Baby Mamas Emerges

• Michael Oyier touched many lives in his lifetime and will be remembered as a father, husband, brother and friend
• The late journalist, in an old clip, talked of his struggles with depression, revealing that it left him a shell of his former self
• In the video, the journalist encouraged those diagnosed with depression, affirming that it gets better with time

Late journalist Michael Oyier opened up about his struggles with depression and baby mamas.

Michael Oyier talks of his depression

Oyier, in an emerged clip on Engage Talk, talked of his career success, comparing it to a hobby.

“In 2006, I reached the peak of television life, or so I thought. The Television show I hosted was rated second only to a music show, The Beat. I enjoyed my work so much that I would tell my colleagues ‘that this job is like a well-paying hobby.’”

The late journalist revealed that he was struggling with fatherhood behind the scenes.

"That was the public life, but I was also known as the church boy. I was very active. But that was the private life. There were things happening, a struggle within. I can’t tell you when that might have begun. But I’ll share this. I am the son of Alfred and Linet Oyier. I am the second-born son. A father of two daughters and two mothers. Those two, the firstborn, whom I refer to as my gracious gift because when she was conceived, that is when I asked myself who I have become.

The private struggles to life. Which one are you? My second-born daughter was born. I call her my healing balm because, with her birth, I finally found the opportunity. Because with her birth, I finally found the opportunity to be validated as a father."

Michael Oyier talks of his parents' death

Oyier noted that getting into fatherhood, he had re-imagined himself differently than he had co-parenting set-setup revealed that it weighed in on him so much that he sunk into depression.

"You see, I grew up in a context where being a father and the picture that I'd given myself about how I would be a father and what I would do with my children was key, and it was so important. Yet... The circumstances of my children's birth did not allow for the picture that I had in mind. And with that, I found myself sinking, because I couldn't fix it. I could not fix it. I could not even hide it. It was out.

Michael led this life, but he also led this life. So I continue with the life that I've now come to realise of sadness, of pain, of being in the house alone, long days, not wanting to do anything, no food. If you called me, I wouldn't pick the phone. I was listful. Did I have the energy to do anything? Just only that which was necessary. And one of the most necessary things was being with and meeting my daughters when we agreed with their mothers."

The late journalist said he did not realise when the depression kicked in and compared it to yeast. He traced it to his parents' death with doubt, saying he had unresolved emotions.

"The other thing was, you know, pull yourself up and go to work and execute another bulletin and go and emcee another job. And those courageous people who came for counselling when their counsellor really needed some help too. I can't tell you when exactly it began, or the exact reason for the depression. It might have been because of unresolved mourning.

I didn't mourn correctly and completely for my mother or my father when they died. It's like yeast. You don't see the dough rising when you have the yeast, but you do know the difference. And that's where I was, in this dark, lonely place. But there were a few things that I was able to do consistently that helped pull me and keep me."

Michael Oyier's death and the aftermath

• Oyier's widow, Dinah Kituyi, moved mourners during her late husband's requiem mass, where she recalled their life together.
• Abigael, the late Oyier's daughter, touched mourners with her tribute at the same memorial service.
• His family pleaded for financial support to help give the journalist a decent send-off to the great beyond.

Proofreading by Nyambura Guthua, journalist and copy editor at TUKO.co.ke