Nairobi Man Celebrates 13th Wedding Anniversary Despite Marriage Collapsing, Shares Lessons

• Elder Mboya Orinda is meant to be celebrating his 13th wedding anniversary, but the marriage ended
• The divorced man disclosed that his marriage "spiritually ended on the same day it started"
• Reflecting on the day he got married, Orinda shared 10 vital lessons he learned from his experience

Today marks the 13th wedding anniversary of Elder Mboya Orinda, a day he holds dear even though his marriage "spiritually ended on the day it started."

In a post on Facebook, Orinda reflected on his journey through marriage and subsequent divorce.

The divorced man recalled his wedding as the most beautiful he had ever experienced.

However, the joy of that day contrasts sharply with the realization that his marriage was not meant to endure.

In honour of what would have been his 13th year of marriage, Orinda shared 10 valuable lessons learned from his experience.

1. Clarity through observation:

Orinda emphasizes the importance of stepping outside the marriage to gain clarity.

By observing the relationship as if evaluating an investment, one can objectively assess its value and impact on their well-being.

2. Personal responsibility

Orinda reflects on how issues in marriage often stem from unresolved personal conflicts brought into the relationship.

He acknowledges that problems are rooted in individual backgrounds rather than the marriage itself.

3. Self-growth post-divorce

Orinda suggests that although divorce is painful, it presents self-improvement opportunities.

It allows individuals to address their own needs and grow in ways they may have expected their spouse to facilitate.

4. Change as a constant:

Orinda views divorce not as a failure, but as a transformation.

He believes that everyone goes through multiple marriages—whether with the same person or others—as part of life's inevitable changes.

5. Divorce as a process, not a battle

The legal aspect of divorce, according to Orinda, is merely administrative.

The emotional turmoil comes from unresolved inner conflicts rather than the divorce itself.

6. Inner peace over reconciliation

Orinda stresses the importance of making peace with oneself after divorce, rather than overcompensating for the partner’s loss.

This point resonates deeply with him.

7. Allowing space for change

He advises allowing a partner the space to change for themselves, rather than for the sake of the marriage.

Reconciliation should be based on genuine personal growth.

8. Children and marriage:

Orinda argues that staying in an unhappy marriage "for the children" is misguided.

He believes that children can suffer more from the emotional baggage carried by parents who remain in a broken marriage.

9. Grief of divorce

Orinda compares the grief of divorce to the grief of death, a process with no clear end or perfect way to navigate.

This point also deeply resonates with him.

10. Marriage as a cause of divorce

Orinda provocatively suggests that marriage itself is the leading cause of divorce and advises focusing on personal growth instead of rushing into marriage.

His reflections candidly explore the complexities of marriage and divorce, offering wisdom that requires careful consideration.

As he marks this anniversary, he invites readers to reflect on these lessons, particularly those that resonate most with them.