Kenyan Dads Narrate How Getting First Children Changed Their Lifestyles: "I Quit Clubbing"

• Kenyan dads narrated how getting their first children changed their lives and the responsibilities of being fathers
• Some men said that they quit destructive and risky behaviour out of fear of not being there for their firstborn babies
• They also shared how their handling of finances and addressing day-to-day issues changed, including the company they kept

Michael Ollinga is a journalist at TUKO.co.ke with over 10 years of experience covering courts and crimes, special reports, and current affairs in Kenya.

The feeling of becoming a father is indescribable; even the Good Book says that children are a love gift from God.

The joys of fatherhood

At a time when it is not guaranteed that all people can have biological children, most parents who get this blessing do their best to give their offspring the best life.

Despite some parents, especially fathers, abdicating their responsibility to raise their children, those who choose to be present, protect, and provide for their children say it is worth the sacrifice.

Some fathers who spoke to TUKO.co.ke opened up about how fatherhood automatically changed their lives.

Hearing about the love-at-first-sight experiences between dads and their firstborn kids was interesting.

Children are the pride of their fathers

"It's something that you cannot explain. The moment it happens, everything shifts. It was a feeling of being on top of the world to see my son. Driving from the hospital, I felt like I was better than every other man out there who didn't look like they were fathers," said Hillary.

The dads narrated changing how they carried themselves around and managed their finances.

All agreed that becoming a father bestows a huge sense of responsibility and pride, which shifts one's character.

"I changed financially, emotionally, and socially. I even stopped going out at night, and it's not because someone stopped me. Even if I were still drinking, I would have stopped because I just wanted to be there with my son," added Hillary.

Budgeting for Children

Another dad, Omondi, said that when he became a father, he realised that his money was not just his and that he needed to plan for his son.

"I could not make impulse purchases like I used to do before. The priority is on buying Junior something even before thinking about myself," he said.

Another dad said fatherhood made him stop hanging out regularly with some of his unmarried friends.

"The father's instinct to provide and protect kicked in naturally," said the father.

Mohammed, a father of one, said he did not understand how things changed immediately after his son was born.

"I can't explain it, but I think that you can never be the same knowing that there is someone looking up to you. How you behave, talk and handle issues changes because you know there is someone watching and learning from you," Mohammed said.

Kenyan dads speak about fatherhood transformations

Another dad who sought anonymity said the birth of his firstborn child helped him settle down and focus on giving the baby the best life.

"I had to stop hanging out with girls completely and it is a good thing," said the dad.

Some dads confessed that they began being more careful while driving, and another even quit riding his bike on highways for fear of getting injured or dying and subsequently not being there for the baby.

Another dad hilariously said that his unmarried friends who were not dads accused him of not hanging out with them.

He said he had not even discovered that he was not giving his friends, who were not dads, enough time like he used to.

Demands of fatherhood

Robert, a father of one, also said that getting his first baby changed how he perceived issues.

"You automatically begin prioritising the needs of the baby. When you are making financial decisions, the baby is right at the centre. Once you feel you are accountable for the life of another human, you just switch the way you handle things without even knowing," Robert said.

The dads said their changes and transformations benefited them, their babies, and their families.

Three dads who spoke to TUKO.co.ke during Father's Day in 2023 narrated their experiences and acknowledged they learned some of their fatherhood skills from their dads.

TUKO.co.ke also highlighted how a photo of a dad helping his daughter carry her personal effects to school warmed the hearts of Kenyans online.

Proofreading by Nyambura Guthua, journalist and copy editor at TUKO.co.ke